Does anyone understand how weird airplanes are? The mannerisms that come with, the people you can find, and the unspoken rules. I have flown a time or two.... and maybe I just notice really weird things.... but here are my quirky and useless observations about airplanes.
I am usually a Delta girl.....but because of cheap fairs, I found myself a few days ago on a Southwest flight to Chicago. Sooooo.... who knew that you don't buy A seat? Like a particular seat??? A row, a number, a window seat, an isles. When I checked in the night before, my ticket said "C boarding". Well, thanks to my graduation of kindergarten, C comes after A and B. Let me just say, that if you are in the C boarding class, BRING A NECK PILLOW! Since there are 60 people assigned to each "letter", there were 120 people that boarded before me. Walking down the isle to find a place, I only saw middle seats. Of course though... why would people choose to sit in the middle? Its really an awkward thing for those C class people because they have to pick a seat just according to the people that are going to be on either side of them. Believe me, there are some weird combinations of individuals that you can find sitting on those isles and by those windows.
+the foodie... I will always avoid those people that have brought on food from the terminal. They are obviously starving and probably won't be the most polite eater. I don't know about you but I don't want to watch or even sit right next to someone that is eating something most likely non-appetizing. I'd rather not have sauce splattered on my outfit, or smell like greasy terminal food for the rest of the day.
+the baby... Never. Never will I make an exception to sit next to a baby (I've got to be at least five rows away). Most parents are confident before traveling with their baby... "Oh he will do great! He is a wonderful baby."....ya.....right.... Not only do they always cry, but I don't want it to be climbing on me. This might seem harsh to some people and maybe some actually like to sit next to babies, but I don't particularly like other people's kids. I don't want to hear them, I don't want to smell them, and I most definitely do not want to be their slobber target.
+the beat lover... You all know what I am talking about. The kid usually about 15-24 that sports his beats by dre, or any brand similar, headphones. Yes, those things are nice to wear and I am sure he is just trying to avoid the crying baby exactly how I am but like, DO YOU NEED YOUR MUSIC THAT LOUD? When I can sing along to the song you are listening to from three rows away, we've got a problem people. I just don't have the patience to listen to someone else's playlist. I am just too picky.
+the reader... K, I am all about people who love to read. And this is a case that I will avoid only on late night flights. I hate when all of the lights are turned off in the plane for take off and those avid little readers reach up and flip on their light. The airline tried to do a good job so the lights are already placed to shine on that particular seat. Well, they don't. When you are trying to sleep and that annoying little light is beaming into your eyeballs.... its not something I want to take part in.
+the sleeper... Its always a laughing matter, you know, when board and there are those individuals that are already asleep. I will gladly pass up that seat. If someone can fall asleep that fast and that easily, they aren't going to be waking up when they are leaning on your side, or when they are snoring with their mouth open. Sleeping strangers are probably one of the scariest things... More unpredictable than wild animals.
Okay, once you find your seat, its painful waiting for take off. I don't know about you but I could probably go through the safety instructions just as well as the flight attendants do. "You put your seat belt into the silver buckle, life vests are underneath the seats, if oxygen masks fall down help yourself before others, lights will illuminate the walkways to show you where the exits are, if you have further instructions there are instruction pamphlets in the seat back pocket in front of you." I know their importance and I understand why they are gone through but lets be real, if you are going down in a plane you are not going to have time nor the capability to follow the red lights to an exit while grabbing a life vest on your way out.
I understand the rules and I usually am a very good rule keeper... but this particular rule I just don't quite get why I need to follow it. Why does my cell phone need to be off? Why can't it be in airplane mode? Why would they even make an "airplane mode" if I just have to turn off my cell phone anyway???? Until I find the answer, I will continue to put my phone in airplane mode for take off.
I'm going to let you in on a little secret... I cave in awkward moments. Sharing things with strangers is one of them....especially arm rests. Seriously though, in movie theaters I never want to sit next to a stranger. You don't know whose drink gets the shared arm rest. Its never a pleasant situation. Well, on the airplane it goes about the same way. As the middle person though, you are very surrounded. I say if you are in the middle you should get both the right and the left arm rests. The isle person gets their own arm rest, and the isle for heaven's sake. The same with the window person, both the window and an arm rest. But come on, it never goes that way. I always want the back of the arm rests but if the person next to me bumps me off accidentally I will never turn back and put it up there again. Way too awkward for me... I'd rather sit with my hands in my lap than have to face an awkward arm rest battle.
If I had more energy I would continue to blab my uninteresting opinion about the most delectable food served on airplanes, the uncomfortable and peculiar airplane bathrooms, the unusual fasten seat belt sign and the dreaded canned drinks.... but I do not. So thats all for now.
xo, McCall Rose
